play and laugh


There was this triangular shaped stool I loved so much. I loved the concept of it having three legs instead of the conventional four. I wouldn’t want to call it an idol, but I cherished it with every fibre in me. I let no one touch or use it. I had just returned from school, and I was glad I found my stool just as I left it. The norm was that my siblings will take it out and abandon it when they’re done with it, and I’ll come back ranting and shouting at them.

As usual, I brought out the stool to use, and as soon as I sat on it, it gave way and I came crashing down, my butt hitting the ground. In my usual unobservant manner, I didn’t realize that one of the legs had broken a little and was just waiting for an external force to perfect the breaking process. My most cherished stool caused me a terrible sprain. How sad.

Using this analogy for this thing called marriage, we can see that marriage can be likened to a stool with three legs. These legs are the legs of intimacy that makes a marriage stand firm . A problem with any of these legs puts a strain on the marriage and if not quickly detected and a solution procured, it may lead to an eventual breakup of the union.

three legs of intimacy

What are these three legs of intimacy, and how does it affect the marriage?Well, this post is merely an appetizer, and you’ll have to keep tabs for the main course.

The tripod of intimacy on which the marriage relationship stands are: Spiritual intimacy, Physical intimacy and Emotional intimacy. None is superior or more relevant to the other. They are mutually dependent.

Just as I fell and suffered a sprain when I sat on my partially broken stool, the marriage/home will also break if one of the legs of intimacy is shaking or completely broken. It’s disastrous for a home; couple and children to sit on a stool where any of the legs of intimacy is broken.

I’ll stop here for now. Keep tabs on subsequent posts as I discuss these legs in-depth, one after the other.


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Esho Kemi is a writer, public speaker and a blogger who has the mandate to make a change in her generation. She is the Content Manager at KEMI Writes, a writing agency that caters for all your editing and writing needs. Reach her via email:


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