I had just resumed for the new academic session to primary two, and I was asked to repeat primary one because I was terrible in reading and writing. Actually, it was my mom who instigated my having to repeat a class. My spirit was dampened, and I suffered self-esteem issues. However, my story did not end there. My mom became my personal reading and writing tutor. I learnt how to read, write and speak good grammar for my level.

I’ve experienced other periods of failures in my life, and since I delayed in sharing my pain with anyone, I suffered alone. With this, I can confidently say I know what it is to be helped through the season of failure, and what it means to face your failure yourself.

Failure is not something anybody wishes for. It’s no one’s heart desire to fall into the pit of failing, but it is something that is inevitable in life. Someone once said, “if you never failed, it means you never tried anything new. The things that matter most when failure occurs is our attitude towards failure; whether we choose to rise, or we choose to remain which is the failure in itself.

Having this background understanding, how can you see your child through failure.

Let them understand that failure is not a person but a situation
. There is a difference between I’m a failure and I failed. That your child failed in a particular endeavour does not certify him/her to be a failure. The only thing that makes one a failure is if one chooses to remain in the state of failing. With this, you can help your child throw away the bitter pill of failure and savour the sweetness of success.

Don’t rub in their failure. Doing this alone is like adding salt to injury. Perhaps that child is already suffering from bouts of poor self esteem and probably depression. Putting the weight of them failing makes the burden too heavy for them to bear and they might not rise up from that state of failure to a resounding success.

Failure is not fatal. Help them understand that even if they fall seven times, they can rise again. The only thing that makes their falling fatal is when they choose to remain in their failed state. If they quit at their first try because they failed, they will never have the opportunity of tasting what it means to achieve success. There are plethora of examples you can cite for them to drive home your point so you do not sound theoretical.

Prayer is the key. Know that except the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build it, and except the Lord keeps the city, the watchman watches but in vain. Committing your kids into the hands of God makes it easy for them to sail through any circumstance they find themselves. Make it a habit to pray for your children, pray over them and commit all of their endeavours into the hands of their Maker and Father. With this, your kids will be able to go through life on a more easy terrain and they’ll come back blessing you for it.


Something you’ll want to add, let’s know in the comment box.

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Esho Kemi is a writer, public speaker and a blogger who has the mandate to make a change in her generation. She is the Content Manager at KEMI Writes, a writing agency that caters for all your editing and writing needs. Reach her via email:


  1. It was Mathematics. That dreaded subject. Despite I was still among the first seven best ‘brains’ in the class of geniuses, I had problem with Mathematics. Little wonder I struggled to hit the top three in the class.

    Throughout my Junior Secondary School, I find myself beaten and it appeared that Mathematics wasn’t for me. My tent was pitched toward the bottom of the class – in Math. But that was a big challenge to me despite I was doing fine in other subjects except Literature. I must be frank, Literature nearly put me to flight.

    I know I’ve to know Math and have a good grade in order to reach my goal. I’d wanted to study anything related to medicine. I braced up! Next, you will see what I did.

    …But as we journeyed to the Senior class one, I’d said to myself that a change must occur. I struggled to alter and change the status quo. I read Mathematics. I studied it. I solved problems. I solved all the problems after each topic. I can remember stepping to the board around SS1 to teach some of my fellow mates who seems not to understand a topic. Note, I wasn’t the only one that knew it. We had other geniuses around.

    Things changed. Praise God! My mate called me Logarithm in those days. I helped my school win contests, especially in Mathematics. That was the time my Math teacher noticed me. He began calling me his boy…

    In SS1, I scored 102 mark in Math. You’re surprised?

    My Math teacher wrote a problem on the board, and I happened to be the one that gave solution to it. He therefore promised me 5 mark to my Math grade. With the total grade of 97 in my assessment, I scored more than the average. More than 100 percent. I climbed to the top. I became the best in Math. Just then, I hit the mark at my target in the dreaded Math subject!

    It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t all personal effort. Any problem in my textbook that seems to ‘defeat’ me, I’d take it to my Math teacher the next day to help me out. Little wonder i became his close ‘friend’ – his boy. My parents bought Math textbooks for me. I remember I had two of them. I also made use of any Math textbook I see my mate ‘feeding’ upon.

    I passed Math both in WAEC and NECO.

    That confirms the saying that, “if there’s a will, there’s a way.”

    Well, I’m studying a medical course in the university currently – ABU, Zaria. I’m in my sophomore year.

    Thank you, Kemi for allowing me to share my 1# Math story. I’m grateful!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These days…parents put too much pressure on their kids, and they don’t understand or pay attention. They praise them when they succeed and kill their morale when they don’t do well…wish they could understand that failure is part of the “winning” process….. Well done dear!

    Liked by 1 person

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